New "Green" Search page w/Google power

Today I stumbled upon this alternative, Google-search-powered eco-friendly Search tool called bSaves. It stands for b[lack]Saves - as in, watt power. You can make it your default home page or search page. It looks a little something like this:



This is awesome! Of course you've noticed I prefer my black-background'ed web pages...

As the creators say on their "About" page:

"...bSaves is designed to save energy by displaying mostly black pixels on the computer monitor. It is known that white web pages require around 74 watts to be displayed, while black web pages use only 59 watts....

The Classic Google has over 200 million search queries made per day. Our ultimate goal is for everyone to switch over to bSaves. This would save 750 Megawatt-Hours a year!"

I was delighted to discover this Search site, as it's using Google, my favorite search engine, (which I wouldn't want to do without); it's saving energy and the environment, which is fundamental; and, the icing on the cake, for me--the fact that I find black-background web pages more soothing on the eyes to read. (So long as their text color isn't some kind of screaming, popping, flourescent red or electric aqua or something...that makes my optic nerve feel like it's popping right out of my skull...!)

Click it -- save it -- email it -- try it out, & tell others. Even just one. :)

All Kinds of Crazy - Part II

So I think my "also has problems" ex-therapist broke into my place.

Now what?

All Kinds of Crazy - Part I

I'll start right off & say it right now:
I'm crazy.

That's right, a bonafide lulu.

I have problems.

Okay, so maybe I don't really consider myself crazy. But someone else probably would.

The thing is, we all judge 'craziness' according to a very idiosyncratic, skewed, biased, personal lens.

Because of our weird personality biases, and the lens on the world we developed because of the family we grew up in (or without), and the coloring influence of our experience navigating through life, the way I see it is that what we really have are our own personal, unique patches of "crazy blindness."

We're immune to "seeing" certain types of "crazy," with our particular immunities depending on our experiences.

If we see enough of it, and it becomes commonplace to us...if we're habituated to it, it no longer really looks like 'crazy.' It becomes backdrop. Landscape. The normalcy.
Only other things will stand out, held up against that landscape.

Example:
My father may beat me, but no one in our family wears purple hair.
I go to your house. Your mother notices bruises on my arm, and asks me some
annoying questions about how I got so many bruises. I lie, without thinking
about it, because I'm used to that. However, I can't stop staring at your little
brother, who is wearing the loudest purple dye in his hair that I've ever seen.
He walks in the door with it; your mother doesn't even blink. I gape. After a
while of my staring, you ask me what is up with the weird staring. I ask
incredulously, "What the hell has your brother done to his hair?! Did he just
come home like that?? Did your mother not notice, or
something? Do you guys just, like, take that in stride, or something-??"

So- you get the picture. What is not even a "Thing" viewed through one person's Crazy/NotCrazy filter, may be completely out there in someone else's view.

And all behaviors which could, by anyone, be labeled 'crazy' at one given time or circumstance or the other, are 'crazy' mostly by matter of degree.

So, not only do we all have blindness for certain types of crazy and 'sight' for other types of crazy, our blindness or sightedness may be a 'threshold' matter.

Like, let's say in the example above, your family beats you a little, but there's a line drawn at breaking skin, drawing blood, and breaking bones. But let's say that my family just doesn't give a damn...they go all the way. I've been at your house with the remnants of cuts, scars, and healing broken ribs, etc. on me. So while your mother doesn't think it's nuts just simply that a parent hits a child, she does think it's nuts what my parents do to me.

Both sets of parents are hitting and/or beating children; it is merely a matter of degree being used to mark off the line of which set of behaviors is considered crazy. [And it depends on who you're asking, in that scenario.]


Which kinds of crazy that get restricted and punished/intervened with, is a matter of majority vote, more or less, in a society.*
[*Well, in more democratic social structures, anyway.]
If 80% or more [that's a somewhat arbitrary 'highish' percentage -I just grabbed-] of the population of a society say some behavior is beyond tolerance and should be intervened with/stopped, then it's gained Officialdom. Laws and 'best practices' then tend to get made, regarding whatever-it-is.


...to be continued

The Happy Introvert - Elizabeth Wagele

I haven't bought it yet, but I've perused it in the bookstore and skimmed Elizabeth's comments about it on her website, and it's a treat.

Elizabeth is the perfect Five and INFP (to boot) (sometimes we rarely flock together, you see...more T's predominate), and Introvert.

And, for the wicked side of me, from what I did read of her book, it's the perfect little number to just take and whack an Extrovert upside the head with.
Delicious. :)

But she's so sweet. It's not at all like she cracks heads in the book; it's just that she lays it down, plain and simple--that introversion is just as normal, just as perfectly natural a preference, and just as well-adjusted as Extroversion--without apologies, yet without a chip on her shoulder--she just lays it all out like milk & cookies for her probably hopefully 1/2 "E" audience to absorb and learn from.

{So, leave it to me to want to take her Grace, and wield her manuscript like a flog: *Whack! Whack!* upon the lowly, unsuspecting, boorish heads of all the fiend Extroverts who've ever made my life a pain in the ass on occasion.}

But unlike many other books focusing on Introversion as a valid personality trait, previously, this one is written by a very thorough, intellectual Five who can and does back up all of her statements with their "proof" in the weight of historical psychological studies & evidence. You read, you listen, and there's just nothing to contend with.


Anyway, this is just a heads up: I highly recommend the book [which I believe you can purchase through a link at this page on her website. If you can, get it through there; she may get some kind of credit with Amazon, if you do]. I DO intend to purchase it (it's only a matter of time)--and this post is just a "props"/heads-up to Elizabeth Wagele.

For any Type Fives, INFPs, or just sensitive Introverts I also heartily recommend a read-through at her website. I learned a tremendous lot about Fivedom, & intelligence & artistic appreciation just through what she's got there, alone. She's a great one to read if you're not sure you're a Five because you're on the side of "too sensitive."

Stephenie Meyer's muse, & Tori Amos' "strange little girls"

Reading how Stephenie Meyer described her writing process...as being character-driven...and almost seeming to me in the sense of her 'channeling' them, it reminded me a lot of what I've heard in interviews and read from Tori Amos, about her relationship to the songs that "reveal themselves" to her. Tori frequently speaks of them as "girls" who visit her and talk to her. (I'd read one reference say that the naming of her album Strange Little Girls was at least partially attributed to that.)

It's kind of funny: two different kinds of artists that I have encountered, grown to appreciate & admire, now have this eerie muse thing in common.

Actually, I've heard more than a few masters (particularly in the musical field) say they felt as if their best stuff came as if they were "channeling" it. Now I can't recall the primary third one I'm thinking of.
But it's been several.

And they range from Christians to atheists, agnostics & in-betweens. Seemingly universal.

It kind of gives me an eerie smile, go across my lips. There's something there....
You've gotta know this isn't just coincidental circumstance. This is a Thing.

Is it God? If it's God, what's he saying, there? It seems he's saying a lot of different things, or trying to touch people in all sorts of different ways, if it is God.

If it's not God...then who, or what is it? Is it all the same Who/or/What?--Or are there several?

I suppose it all depends on your spiritual world view, perhaps.

I have my theories...
But I think they're deserving of another blog post, later. In fact I'm sure of it.

For Love of Alice

I am going to have a page dedicated here to squee(!)ly fangirldom of Alice Cullen, rockstar vampire of the Twilight world.

I can't help it. I know I will look back on this with a flaming faceful of chagrin, one day; as I am, you know, 'too old for this.' ;)

But for now I don't give a damn. :D


Alice quote'o'the day:

"Words!"

Can anyone go ahead and pull where it's from?
Book, chapter, setting (circumstance under which it's said)?

If you get it I'll give you a cookie.

It may be my very favorite Alice moment... Make me proud. :D

Heh heh heh: Twilight.

{{ Some mild-to-moderate spoiler info follows... }}

#1: I watched the movie. This was for Robert Pattinson. (That and I previewed the Girl, and could stand the Girl.)

#2: I did use the movie as a litmus test for if I could even get into the books. I decided that I could give the first one, anyway, a shot without experiencing acute pain.

#3: I donned a paper bag o'er my head & headed down to my local bookstore.


Awright...I did not wear the bag. But I mentioned the suggestion of wearing it, to the saleslady.
She offered to put it into a plain brown paper bag for me...lol. So I took her up on it. (Couldn't hurt?) <:}

I just bought the paperback version- of #1 - you know--signalling "no commitment here," ...and then over the weekend proceeded to read it in perhaps...I have no clue...36 hours? Only 24, all together? I didn't keep track. I do know that I was done in plenty-o-time, Sunday...I had most of my afternoon/evening or something free.

And...I also discovered that my copy was missing 1 full page. Imagine that!

So, it was like kismet...since I had to return the flawed paperback copy to the bookstore on Monday anyway, and I'd decided I would go ahead and go for broke (on the series), I traded Paperback vol. 1 for hardcover vol. 1, vol. 2, and vol. 3. (They were out of hardcover #4 so I thought I'd wait, I still had 2 more very thick books to get through...by then they'd get Vol. 4 in.)

All I know is that Stephenie Meyer's series dominated my waking life (--and there was a lot of it -I've never been so sleep deprived since college!) for a couple of weeks straight. Darn things are extremely addictive.

And no, though I'm easily a naysayer in most circumstances like this in all other available cases, I'm going to go ahead and say it to you Other Naysayers:

It's not teenage candy fluff.

Now, it's not gothic horror or particularly 'dark,' either- but it's not silly.

The thing that actually struck me most about Meyer's series is how very good she is at conveying the inner psychological spaces of her main characters. In Book 2, I was poignantly personally affected by the job she did of tracing Bella's depression. It struck me that Meyer would have had to have experienced a serious depression/-loss herself, to characterize this in this way at all.

It was actually pretty hard to read. Painful. It plucked at a weird spot in my chest, that I thought was done, and well-healed- nothing but an old scar now. But apparently there's something that doensn't ever go away when you experience a deeply painful, damaging experience like the one Meyer describes...sooo well.

I found myself almost hurrying, through those parts...her depression. The 'dead' funk...the bodily reaction at the mention of names...the extreme avoidance of...so many things. The extreme, extreme, delicate, fragility.

And then, I read this [see the 8th "Q:/A:" down], at the Twilight Lexicon.

...And was blown away.

This woman...has an incredible imagination & gift, then. Either that, or she's possessed. LOL
(Or a liar, I guess...but I am not suggesting or even feeling or supposing that.)

I'd have to admit, though, to having had (still have) some skepticism...that someone's imagination alone could account for the pricking of [flashback-]feelings in me, so poignantly...when not even reading real-life 'survivor's stories' and descriptions of pain has ever pinged what Stephenie Meyer pinged in me.

She must have at least known someone who went through this-- got a chance to observe it, at least, in another-- you know?
Impossible.... But anyway, gifted.

The Real Secrets to Life

On TV this weekend I saw a public television piece on the Netherlands in which they covered the Danish writer Karen Blixen (sometime-writing pseudonym: Isak Dinesen), the author of Out of Africa.

{I was drawn in by her story, as they portrayed it, and needless to say I think now I can see myself reading Out of Africa and probably then watching the movie made of it....}

She seemed like quite the personality- and very bright. Philosophical; with depth.

One of the things they said on the program was that Karen Blixen was interviewed at one point and asked something like "What is the key to living life?"

Her answer:

There are three:

courage

the ability to love

a great sense of humor (-particularly about one's self)

I haven't yet found this quoted anywhere in print yet, but I'm looking. What a great answer. :)

I think that's one of the wisest answers I've ever heard.

I would agree too. I smiled as I heard each one; they're just what I'd have thought they should have been. And I can't think of anything that those three don't cover, over an entire human earthly life. It's awesome.

AH! And here is a quote from one of Karen's books, The Diver, which goes very well, if I do say, with the quote from St. Augustine currently up on my front page:

"For God does not create a longing or a hope without having a fulfilling reality ready for them. But our longing is our pledge, and blessed are the homesick, for they shall come home."

Yeah, I'm gonna have to put that one up...

About a Blog

Since I am really interested in psychology and personality, I would like to have a lot of good stuff in that way, in this place. Good material...Fresh insight, new twistings and trials. (NO RegurgiSpew.)

I also love my music, and I really appreciate bloggers who put songs on on their sites to sample. So that's an intention of mine.

Rest assured though, there will never be any auto-playing, on entry! [Detest and loathe that.]


I can imagine a lot of politics--at some point; the older I get the less I seem to be able to avoid having strong opinions about a lot that goes on-- all over the world. Though I couldn't stand it if my blog ended up being comprised even 30% of politics.

There are times, though, such as the last 8 years in Hades in the U.S., when I know that being stuck on politics for a while will be unavoidable.

Sadly, my dearest mother said once that I do not suffer fools gladly; and she was right. It's a problem, because I don't care to be the designated Ms. Snarky-Complainy. Or Ms. Acid-Lipped Bile-Spewer. In fact, [..wait for it..] I'm first to wrinkle up my nose & want to complain when reading a person's blog filled with nothing but.

Arg.

SO- I'm going to keep in mind...conscientiously...to observe and talk about the pretty things. [That's an 'also.']

Because there are plenty of them. In fact I heard one just today. Oops-yesterday. But it's subject for a separate blog post.

Regurgi-Spew

RegurgiSpew.

New word. This will be my noun for what results when people who think they're bringing new information, clarification, or new thinking to a topic of study cannot tell the difference between that and re-listing, VERBATIM, others' already written or published or spoken words of knowledge.

I have to read RegurgiSpew.

What a crapping waste of my time.

This will turn into a rant....
Now.

I just can't believe it when I go to turn over a new rock about one of the subjects I'm fascinated by, online--hoping against hope that someone has finally written something new about it--and, if it's been a while [since I last checked], I get excited to see like 15 more links that I've never seen before, seemingly dealing with it-- I go and dig into them one by one -- and 14 of them are tables, lists, quotes from, or whole copy-pasted paragraphs of what somebody else has already said, which anybody interested in the subject has read billions of times, because it was published eons ago-- and the 15th website says something a _little_ new... 1 whole sentence of it. Whoo-hoo. >:{

(And that sentence is NOT fascinating....)

It makes me want to flay and burn.

Urg. The Day.

I don't like daytime much.

It encroaches, really. Night is so peaceful, private, quiet...and timeless. At least you would think. ...Nothing moves.

It is good for when you want to linger...when you need all the time in the world in just a short space of time. It can feel that way.

But day just trespasses; the intruder!


I can't get away from the fact of my Enneagram Five -ishness. It leaks out in every way that everything I love keeps 'people' far Off my skin. I can't help but see that something huge that's precious about night, to me, is the feeling of insulation & hibernation...from others. The private pocket of time, and space.